That afternoon, as I walked on immersed in the deep Calm of thankfulness, I thought about the “things” I had brought with me — as well as those I had purposefully left behind.

Even then – even after only walking for three days, I knew that the majority of the items in my small hemp bag were essentially superfluous.  Indeed, the only “things” we ever really need to carry with us to live a Success-full life are always within us – the choice of Gratitude for life itself, the choice to appreciate the miraculous Beauty that always resides within everything “small” & “normal”, the courage to act accordingly by extending Kindness to those we encounter along the Way.  I didn’t need my notebook to record these Truths … I didn’t need my deodorant to mask the smell of my endeavors … I didn’t need my spare underwear & socks to remain “dry & clean”.  I simply needed to walk “in Faith” …

… I simply needed to Love.

And yet at this point, I also found myself wondering about the things I was missing at that point – the items I wished to have with me if I were to “start over” and set forth anew – the possessions that I would add to my bag to replace those that I didn’t need.

If I were to repack at this point, I would have taken a small vial of lavender oil, not only as a bug repellent, but also as a calming agent.  I would have taken a small tube of sunscreen for the backs of hands (which were fried at this point – having me walk many miles “monk-style”, with my hands either behind my back or crossed under my smock).  I would have brought a “space blanket” & a scarf to combat the cold nights.  I would have brought some ibuprofen for my muscles & joints, as well as some hydrocortisone for various rashes & itches.

Of course, now that I reflect back upon this day, I realize that none of these items were necessary.  Indeed, were I to pack for another pilgrimage today, I would bring only a very small notepad, a toothbrush and the vial of lavender oil – that’s it.  Even on this very day, I remembered what my True Self reminded me about my desires:

1) … that pain is our Great Informer – letting us know of our imbalances of desire & fear; our discords of ego & True Self.  Any “cure” that comes before those lessons are learned only mandates the coming of more pain in the imminent future to teach us anew; and

2) … that pain is our Great emPowerer – allowing us to transcend the shackles of self-centered instinct in favor of enlivening the all-Loving inclinations of the Soul.  Any “comfort” that arrives before this transcendence is remembered only mandates the coming of more pain in the imminent future to remind us anew.

Of course, this does not mean that we are to crave more pain in our lives.  We do not need to manufacture pain at all.  For every one of us, pain — like death — is always on its way.  Physical discomforts, intellectual confusions and emotional traumas await every sentient being – and they will continue to come into our lives in surprising acuteness and at surprising times for the rest of our days.

And yet, even though we cannot hinder these challenges from arriving, we can choose to approach them differently.  We can choose to use them as tools of clarity and strength, as opposed to fleeing from them as enemies.  This is what my Pilgrimage reminded me … and this was one of the most important lessons I was able to share with others along that difficult Road.

And it was sometime shortly thereafter that I stopped by the side of the road to rest.  And I looked to the heavens, where I saw – quite clearly, as though painstakingly painted there by a master – clouds in the form of the Grim Reaper riding a white dragon; both of them scowling down upon me in anger.

At first I was shocked & even a bit worried by this remarkable vision.  And then I let it go and smiled…. It was then that I remembered why I was on this Walk … It was then that I remembered why I was alive.  What did it matter if I died on this Journey?  I had already succeeded simply by vowing to continue until that death.

I paused, breathed deeply, and sent them both these tormentors unconditional Love.  How terrible an existence to choose – their life of anger and suffering.  How much I empathized with the Angel of Death who had such a terrible Purpose.  How much compassion I felt for his scaly steed, ever-destined to carry him to those appointments with fear and weeping.

Even as they sneered down upon me – even as they sent me scourge & agony – even as they threatened my imminent demise, I send them wave after wave of pure Kindness …

And then I watched in wonderment as their scowls steadily dissolved — to be replaced by gentle smiles.

I remembered stories of Masters who spoke of similar moments of “cloud busting”, and then with a smile I set this aside as well.

I remembered that I had done nothing.

I was simply blessed to have been a witness to The One at Work.

On any Journey or Self-remembrance, it is not the pilgrim who does her great deeds; it is the Love that flows through her that melts away life’s fears.  On any Trek into Truth, it is not the pilgrim who becomes a “Saint”; it is the essence of the Divine that surges through his body that carves his desires into talismans of Kindness.

I remembered that, on any Road away from suffering, it is always the other — always the enemy — who allows Love to fully blossom.

On any Path of Love, all “glory” goes to solely to The One …

And in that moment, I sank to my knees and gave praise to that re-Union within me.

I gave praise to the miracle within us all …

… the miracle that is our choice to Care when most afraid …

… the miracle that is our choice to Give when most wanting to receive …

… the miracle that is Love.

Filed under: Peace Pilgrimage #01: Adventures of a Numinous Nomad (2011) by Scaughdt