After leaving my “diner of dreariness”, what was to prove to be the darkest day of the entire Pilgrimage continued for awhile on a happier note, and this happiness manifested itself firstly in a surprising way …

… I was finally able to wash my socks!

While I was originally planning my little promenade for Peace, I had anticipated being able to walk similarly to the way the Peace Pilgrim herself had walked – which included regularly washing socks & underwear in public restrooms.  And yet I had not accounted for a number of things, among them my own walking mentality – which had me rarely pausing for anything.  Nor had I considered the dearth of public restrooms suitable for washing dirty undergarments along the route .  I mean seriously, how did she do it?   How did she just stroll into a public restroom and wash her laundry without deeply offending someone?   Some folks would have been embarrassed to wash their clothes in front of others, but that wasn’t my issue at all.  I had done more than enough embarrassing things in my life to be immune to that challenge.  With me, it was the simple matter of respect – wondering how I would feel if a stranger came into my establishment and washed his dirty clothes in my sink.  And let me tell you, it wasn’t the best of feelings …

Well, for these reasons, though I had already changed my socks at that point (unlike Peace Pilgrim, I was carrying an extra set), I had yet to wash the two pairs I was wearing when the Journey began.  I was thinking about this as I entered the town of Adairsville, Georgia, where I happened upon a short-term solution – a bank building.

And it wasn’t just any bank building, but it was one of those three story buildings that house various executive offices on its upper floors.  I remembered a similar building from my days living in the Kailua-Kona Borders bookstore on the Big Island of Hawaii – in a building that had restrooms on its upper floors that were shared by the office employees who worked there.  I thought there was a chance that this building would have a similar set-up, and I was correct!

I simply walked into the foyer of the bank, trying to exude an air of confidence — as though I “belonged there” (seriously?).  I then drifted to the foyer stairwell and headed up to the top floor.  Here, just as I had hoped, was a spacious bathroom … very clean – and very deserted.  So I took my time and did my laundry there.  Then I safety-pinned the damp, freshly-cleaned clothes to my hemp bag and exited the building.  While not an “illegal” move in and of itself – and while not violating any of the “rules” I had established for the Pilgrimage, there was something “sneaky” about it that hearkened me back to the less-then-noble days of my youth.  In retrospect, while it was a lot of fun – and while I did like having a clean change of socks & underwear, it just didn’t sit right with me.  If I was going to be true to my ideals, then I was going to have to have the courage to be true to them in even the “smallest” of my endeavors.  And as far as my personal ideals of “integrity” and “honesty” are concerned, surreptitiously washing my undergarments in another person’s sink simply didn’t harmonize — so I never did it again …

After walking on for quite a few more hours, and feeling quite hungry once again, I received that day’s next blessing.

I was walking along a busy section of highway at this point, with quite a few business on both sides of me, when I received another one of those “calls” – this one telling me to look immediately to my right.  I did so and saw a most unusual shop:  “Popcorn Haven”, it was called.  A big fan of the unusual, I went inside and was promptly assaulted by a most amazing combination of sensations.  Visually, I was met by several hundred multi-colored tubs of popcorn – more popcorn than I have ever seen in my entire life.  And the smells!  Let’s just say that there were a lot of “right things” happening in that establishment – let’s just say that someone definitely knew what they were doing in that kitchen.  The proprietor was on hand, and allowed me to sit in one his leather sofas while I drank the water he gave me.  As we continued to chat and the conversation took a noticeably Christian turn, I was able to share my message about Jesus’ Way of radical Kindness.  He resonated with it, it seemed, as he then offered me a big bag of popcorn (Kettlecorn flavored – absolutely delicious!) and tried to offer me $40 cash as well.  He seemed a bit put back by my rejection of the latter, but I think that was more than assuaged by the zeal with which I devoured the popcorn.

We continued to chat for awhile and when it was time to leave, I was given another big bag of popcorn “for the road”.  As I left the store munching on the second portion of what easily turned out to be the most popcorn I had ever eaten at one sitting (or one walking), something didn’t feel right.  In fact, there was clearly something “wrong” about that second bag of popcorn.  It took lots more munching (along with giving several intermittent handfuls of it to the nearby birds and bugs) to figure it out, but I finally did.

First of all, this Pilgrimage was about having Faith – Faith in the goodness of my fellow humans to be Kind, and Faith in the Divine to have me regularly come into contact with such people.  And in order for that Faith to be potent, it needed to be tested – something that would not ever happen if I remained well-fed while on the road.  The gifts of sustenance given to me would not be powerful for those giving them if I were not hungry when they did so, and those gifts would not be given at all if the givers were to see me munching on popcorn when they passed by.  So at that point I realized that a 5^th “rule” was needed, a guideline that proved to be quite necessary later in the Pilgrimage (when food-gifts started literally pouring in):

Rule #5:      No eating food while walking & no carrying any food leftover (i.e. no “hoarding”).

I don’t think that the Universe (or “God”, if that term is preferable to you) is into punishing our mistakes.  Frankly, I have personally experienced that we punish ourselves more than enough for our wrong-doings without God needing to get involved.  And yet, it is interesting to note that – immediately after the bout with my popcorn-laden gluttony, the day started going drastically “downhill” – so drastically, in fact, that it almost resulted in the Pilgrimage coming to a premature conclusion that evening.  But I get ahead of myself …

Though much of this day – like most of the days of this Pilgrimage – is a hazy blur of walking … walking … walking, I do remember several poignant moments of this particular afternoon.

I remember walking through miles and miles of solitude (what some call “desolation”) – with sparsely inhabited farmland on the left and thick forests on the right.  I could see the occasional driveway headed into these trees, but no houses – and no humans.  At one point, I felt a “call” to head up one of these driveways, despite the red gate that barred cars from doing so.  I questioned this one quite a bit before proceeding, but it felt “important”, so I went around the gate and entered the property.  The driveway curved beautifully through the woods to a house at the top of a hill.  This home was what some would call “quaint” – very neat, with potted plants hanging in and around a rear veranda, and a nice vegetable garden to the side.  Two very nice looking collie/shepherd dogs were in a dog run, and they didn’t raise that much of a ruckus while I was there — doing more tail-wagging than barking.  After calling out for several minutes without an answer, I left one of my “business cards”, thanked the dogs for being so kind, and headed back down to the road.  Frankly, these types of encounters have always befuddled me – the ones where it feels so “necessary” that I go somewhere or do something, only to see no immediate impact whatsoever from said visits.   Who knows?  Maybe the owner needed to receive that card … maybe those dogs needed to meet a respectful “intruder” … and maybe the Universe was just thrilled that I had exhibited the courage and the faith to follow its irrational hunch.  No matter, really … I had desired to Do Good there, and any act that is sincerely well-intended is an act that is truly well-Done — even if we do not directly witness enhanced Peace or Joy therefrom.

I remember, just a few miles later, getting another “call” to knock on another door.  This house was in open view just off the highway, and I felt really good about it, until two aggressive dogs came charging at me down the driveway.  To make matters even more disconcerting, one of the dogs was a golden retriever and the other was a black lab.  That’s right – the world’s only pair of aggressive retrievers, and both in the same house (hmmmm).   Before they could get at me, their owner came out from the backyard, called the dogs back, and then waved to me.  I assumed that his wave meant “It’s OK now, come on back”.  When I did so, the dogs charged from behind the house and rushed me again.  The owner called them back once more, and then gave me a much more aggressive wave that clearly said “Get the heck out of here”.  So the heck out, I got …

The oddness of the day, when added to the fact that I was over-heating, that my feet were really hurting, that I was suffering from ever-intensified levels of sleep deprivation, and that I was more than a bit dehydrated — all started to take their psychological toll on me at this point.  And when the psychological begins to take its toll, it tends to manifest itself in the physical – in this case with intense fatigue, weaving dizziness and some serious foot-dragging.  I remember my head lolling back and forth — as though it were only loosely attached to my neck.  I remember seeing the road double.  I remember not thinking I could go any further.  At one point it became an intense act of will to simply take each single step, and I kept repeating the mantra, “I won’t stop until I [unwillingly] fall over”.

Of course, I eventually did unwillingly fall over, which surprised me so much that I started laughing.  I rested for awhile where I fell, before getting up again and vowing to simply “let Spirit do the walking”.  Maybe I had become delusional from fatigue, and maybe I had simply tapped into “the Zone” that many long-distance athletes experience (where the body is perceived to be effortlessly moving on its own).  Regardless, the “Spirit” really did carry me for the next several miles – oddly enough with very little pain and very little feelings of fatigue (though I simply must have been tired, as I had only rested for a few minutes after falling down).  Very strange … very strange indeed; but I wasn’t complaining.

I remember stopping shortly thereafter in an Ace Hardware store and asking for water.  I remember watching some of the employees snacking on some food and really wanting them to offer me some.  They didn’t, of course, and I got to replace my disappointment with gratitude for what I did receive, which was a very nice bottle of cold spring water.  I remember telling the sales rep a joke and making her laugh as I departed, and I remember how light and happy that made me feel.  In fact, I noticed that during the joke-telling episode and for several minutes thereafter my hunger completely disappeared.  Interesting – very interesting …

Inspired by this discovery, I then proceeded to purposefully re-shift my focus — away from myself & my suffering, and towards others & theirs.  I simply chose to try and improve the quality of life of everyone I encountered, primarily doing so by waving to them & smiling into them as they drove by.  I am still convinced to this day that these acts were much more effective than they would have been had I felt comfortable at the time.  As it was, I was tired, hungry and in a lot of pain, and yet was still mustering up the gumption to extend Love to those who passed me.  Every higher mammal can sense the emotional state of being of every other higher mammal in its vicinity — using what is known as “limbic resonance”.  That meant that every person that saw me knew on some deep level that I was indeed hurting, and it had to amaze all of them (at least for split second) that I was sincerely and happily greeting them while in that state of intense discomfort.  It was here that I started to find Purpose in the difficulties of this Pilgrimage.  It was here that I started thinking that maybe at least some of those ascetic monks weren’t “dysfunctional masochists” at all.  Maybe some of them were really onto something … Don’t get me wrong.  I’m definitely not an advocate of seeking pain.  And yet, for all of us, pain is on its way — and it will find us eventually.  And when it does, I was starting to realize that I didn’t have to suffer from those discomforts — I could use them to emPower all my concurrent acts of Love.  And I was actually living this Truth along that lonesome roadside — It actually worked!

I remember walking past a closed fruit stand late that afternoon and seeing a perfectly ripe apple perched atop a pile of “reject” fruit from that day’s sales.  What to do with this one, I wondered?  I was really hungry at this point, and it sure seemed like a “Gift from God”, and yet I hesitated … Was this merely a test of my resolve?  Wasn’t the essence of the Mission to wait until offered food by a human being?  Or was it in harmony with the Walk to accept all of Life’s Gifts?  Frankly, I’m still not sure about this one, though I did eat that apple — and on the off-chance that it was indeed a good thing to do so, I chose to enjoy it thoroughly … 😉

I remember heading “on a whim” (it was a lot more than a whim, actually) into Station 41, a local steakhouse (I know, the vegetarian Peace Pilgrim heads in to hang out in a southern steakhouse – How perfect is that!) … I remember thinking that there was no way that I was going to be offered any food therein, and that this was a very good reason to enter, as I then did so with absolutely no self-centered hopes tainting my sense of goodwill.  I sat for a short time with my water and was simply reveling in the air conditioning, when a man at a neighboring table struck up a conversation with me.  After hearing my tale, it didn’t take long for him to offer me dinner!  I ordered a salad and a plate of potato skins (the only non-meat items on the menu) and was in absolute heaven.  We chatted awhile and then he left.  I especially admired the way he didn’t even respond to my offers of gratitude, as though he was purposefully deflecting anything that might be given him in return for his generosity.  He simply bought my dinner, chatted with me while, wished me well on my Journey, and left.

Yet another lesson from yet another of my life’s many “angels” — a lesson, unfortunately, that was not going to prove very helpful that evening.

Filed under: Peace Pilgrimage #01: Adventures of a Numinous Nomad (2011) by Scaughdt