How can we heal dysfunctional relations? … (02/09/09)
Choice 1] Feel your hurt from its place of origin (which is most often not the immediate source of the same) …
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Choice 2] Accept the other as she/he IS; giving them the freedom to be as “bad” or as “mean” or as “petty” as they wish …
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Choice 3] Forgive the other for the pain they are causing you …
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Choice 4] Take full responsibility for how you feel about how you are being treated …
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Choice 5] Let go of your own psychological mis-functions that are encouraging you to cling to something other than what IS …
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Choice 6] Acknowledge the fact that you must truly Love the other in order for her/him to be able to hurt you so deeply …
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Choice 7] Acknowledge the fact that this Love for them is completely justified (that they are beautiful, regardless of how “poorly” they are behaving) …
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Choice 8] Deepen your Intimacy towards your “perpetrator(s)” by being actively Kind towards them — without hope that they will change, without expecting a “better relationship” in the future, and without caring at all how they might or might not respond …
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Choice 9] Revel in your newfound state of Bliss — by choosing to repeat it!
This is how to make your relationships function … This is what it means to “Love Big”.
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