December 25 – Radical Gratitude: Take a few moments to list the three (3) past difficulties or “crises” that created the most pain for you. Now take a few more moments to list the three (3) current “obstacles” that are giving you the most frustration. Finally, add the three (3) future-based worries that cause you the most current stress … Now, next to each of those nine (9) entries, note what you have learned, are learning &/or can learn from each of them. Realize that without challenge, life becomes a malaise of meaninglessness … Yes, it is rational to desire less difficulty in our lives, and it would not be Self-Loving to yearn for more pain than what we are already encountering. At the same time, one of the traits that seems to separate us as Human Beings is the ability to be Thank-full for our challenges — Choose to Do so now.

There are three basic ways to look at gratitude. The first is common knowledge – namely, that we can always choose to either complain about the things that are going wrong in our lives or focus on the things that are going well. We can either concentrate on our crises or magnify our blessings. Both are available in every moment, and the choice between the two is always ours. This is the standard gratitude to which we frequently return, especially during the holiday season. And yet that is not the gratitude that today’s task inspires.

Today’s challenge focuses primarily on the second type of gratitude, which would have us looking at the negative things that are happening to us, and choosing instead to see the positive things within them that are happening for us. And this is where I started, looking at my life’s “negatives” and finding a lesson in each of them.

As far as my past is concerned, I commenced with a “crisis” common to almost everyone – emotional abandonment (which happens to every person to one degree or another at some point during their early childhood) …

… and today I remembered that, whether they were justified or not, my feeling abandoned enabled me to learn to care for myself. And learning to care for myself eventually enabled me to have the courage to truly Care for others (even though it took me over 36 years to actually give it a try).

My second “major crisis” upon which I focused was my first traumatic break-up, which happened just after graduating from college and which devastated me completely …

… and today I remembered that, regardless of who was “at fault”, Love cannot survive if it is shackled; that real Love in a partnership cares for the other regardless of what is happening to one’s self. It took me another 18 years to finally have the courage to actually give this Truth a try, and yet I finally did, and experienced the perfect state of Peace that washes over anyone who choose to set aside personal fears & desires to simply Love another.

My final past “trauma” was probably my most painful – the loss of my son (or better stated, the loss of my status as a father). Over the many years since that loss, I have come to understand that it makes no sense to lay blame on others – or even on myself. And yet for many years it was a deep wound that wouldn’t heal …

… and today I remembered that this decision has born wonderful “fruit” for all involved; that a parent cannot truly Love a child until he/she has the courage to truly let that child go, while Loving without reservation from afar.

As far as my present is concerned, I commenced with an “obstacle” also familiar to many – duty (or “responsibilities”). So often in our lives, we perform the majority of our deeds not because we want to do them, but because we have chosen to believe that we should or even must do them. Love cannot thrive in such an environment. Love is either completely volitional or it is nothing – and the same is true for our sense of happiness.

and today I remembered that we are not required to choose between morosely fulfilling our obligations and abandoning them. There is another road – a narrow path whereby we choose to dismiss our obligations completely, and then fulfill them willingly. And it is this mentality that allows true Love to blossom.

The second “obstacle” my ego identified was a tendency to lack discipline; the proclivity I (and many others) have to become easily distracted &/or discouraged. And then today I remembered that it is this very inclination – one so deeply programmed into our fear-steeped brains (always on the lookout for the next enemy or danger; always searching for the next superficial pleasure) – that this very inclination is what makes it so rewarding when we pause in such moments and choose to persevere anyway. In those times, success is immediately attained (setting aside of the ego is itself a great achievement) and our ability to consciously Care for others is strengthened.

My final current difficulty is also commonplace to many – desire. Desire is, of course, not bad in and of itself. It is “normal” to yearn for comfort & ease & pleasures superficial. And yet today I remembered that the real blessing behind our desires is how difficult it is to set them aside – which makes us all the more powerful in those moments we choose to do so.

And as far as my future is concerned, even though my True Self has no worries whatsoever (being steeped in the humility that cares not one bit about what happens to me, along with the detachment that is completely ready to engage whatever path opens before me), my ego certainly still does. And the first worry that came to mind is the fear my ego has of my mission to spread the way of selfless kindness proving to be a “failure”; that folks just refuse to apply its principles into their daily interactions. And then today I remembered that such worry is the very thing that will enable such “failure” to take place; that to emit a frequency that “knows better” instinctively activates the “fight or flight” impulse of everyone with whom I come into contact – almost guaranteeing that I will not be heard.

The second major worry of my ego is, at least on the subconscious level, known well to all sentient beings – the fear of death (especially a painful one).

And then today I remembered that to fear death is to insure that one’s life is not lived; that one ironically “dies” even before physically dying. Love is what gives life meaning, and we can only powerfully Love another being (be it a pet, a coworker, a lover, a friend, a stranger or an enemy) when we set aside our fear of death and dive completely into living with them.

The final of my ego’s major worries is cowardice; the fear that I will not have the gumption to make that “final leap” into my Vocation – my ultimate Life-Purpose (whatever that proves to be).

And then today I remembered that to fear such fickleness of purpose is to focus on the one place that my Purpose never is – the future. In fact, I also remembered that I have a Purpose that is equally powerful in this and every moment of my life. All that remains is to pause, look for an opportunity to care courageously for another, and then engage the same. If I choose to do this regularly, my life’s “true Calling” is almost guaranteed to make itself known – and I will be primed to say a joyous “Yes!” when it does so.

In conclusion then, “radical Gratitude” is first and foremost choosing to see the light in all our “dark times” …

… which then enables us to engage the third and final (and by far the most potent) level of Gratitude: going forth (regardless of the possible consequences to ourselves) to act courageously as an agent of that all-loving Light.

See You when I see you …

… and until then, Be Now!

Scaughdt

Filed under: 366 Days of Kindness by Scaughdt