Facing fear (December 23rd)
December 23 – Facing Fear: Take a few moments to recognize and then list your three (3) most potent fears (e.g. death, abandonment, ridicule, pain, poverty, etc.) … Then, choose to remember that those fears are not only irrational, but that they also only exist in the future – never in the Here&Now … Now envision a situation from your past where you were confronted by one of these fears. Do so while “rewriting the script” of that memory; making it an emPowering vision instead of a terrifying one.
Bonus Activity: Find ways to actively face each of your fears; seeing that fears are only that – fears.
We are inundated by fear – from within and from without. Even when not consciously aware of it, this fear rules every non-conscious choice we make in every moment of our lives. Indeed, it is the source of all of our suffering.
The most primitive portion of the human brain is hardwired to be constantly afraid. It thinks that to fear is to survive, and survival is its only objective. As a consequence, it believes that our “enemies” are always lurking just around the corner, and something “dangerous” is always nearby.
Every “unusual” interaction is at first feared (especially “strangers”), and before approaching them, we analyze them first from a distance to make sure that they are “safe”. And only when they so “prove themselves” do we come closer.
Even as we courageously climb towards “success”, we are always subconsciously fearing a “fall”.
And even after transcending our fears for a few moments, the media keeps reminding us that we are to always be afraid.
As a consequence, in the beautiful, we instinctively see potential pain …
And in relationships, we instinctively fear betrayal & abandonment …
This often leads us to remain silent when we could share a caring word …
… and to look away when we could extend an act of kindness.
These self-centered and cowardly choices are reasonable, to be sure, and yet they are also the origins of our feelings of loneliness and despair.
And yet there is an alternative Way of Living. There is a Way that does not allow our fears to take root in our reality.
It is the way of Courage – which is the Way of Love.
Note that this Courage is not what is known as “bravery”. It is counterproductive to recklessly throw yourself into situations that pose a real threat of bodily harm. These are not the actions that free you from your fears, but are actually ways your ego uses to “prove” that you should indeed be afraid.
No, the Way of Courage requires first pausing in the face of an enemy’s attack*.
*Note that your “enemy” might be a person, a situation or even an internal state of being (like intimacy or hunger).
It then requires smoothly stepping to the side and out of harm’s way – not away from the enemy, but towards him.
And finally, it requires making the “Leap of Love” – extending that enemy forgiveness in the form of acts of gentle kindness towards him, her or it.
It may seem impossible, and your ego (and the egos of those around you) will even tell you that it is “irresponsible” or even “masochistic” to do so. And yet do so you can.
These are the moments when your True Self is allowed to emerge.
These are the moments when you feel truly at Peace.
In-deed, these are the moments when you are truly free.
And these are the moments of your truest triumph.
With this all in mind, I faced my own “big three” today:
I faced my primal fear of hunger by beginning a fast.
I faced my primal fear of pain by refusing to take medication for my current physical discomforts.
I faced my primal fear of rejection by continuing to gently-yet-insistently relay my own unique version of that uncomfortable (and quiet unpopular) Truth: that the Way to our deepest Peace rests in all our most fear-filled moments – that the Way to our greatest Joy comes to us when we set aside those personal fears and choose to actively care for our enemies anyway.
See You when I see you …
… and until then, Be Now!
Scaughdt
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