RETURNING TODD to a PLACE of PEACE
… Bringing my brother back to the Big Island

“Tribute 03 … The Green Sands Beach”

The Green Sands Beach (actually named Papakolea) is quite the remarkable location. One of only four green sand beaches in the world, it gets its unique color from its sand, which is comprised almost entirely of peridot, a semi-precious stone (the gem-quality version of the mineral olivine).  And when the light hits this sand at the right angle, it really does look like this:

Back in early spring of 2008, when Todd and I were living together on the Big Island, we took an early-morning trip to this beach — a Peace-full adventure I remember quite fondly. We were the only two people there that morning, and we both took off all our clothes and sunbathed for a time on the soft green sand.

As he was wont to do, Todd took a dip in the then-gentle surf, and we both enjoyed exploring the crumbling cliffs from which the green sand is steadily “mined” by the wind and the waves — though I will admit that Todd was the one doing most of the climbing. I remember watching him as he got to a very steep portion of the caldera.  As I was watching him, I could tell where he wanted to go — and I could tell that it was not going to be possible for him to get there.  He was already so high up the cliff face, and he so wanted to go higher. And yet the rock of which the cliffs are composed is so brittle that he couldn’t find the necessary purchase, and returned wearing a slight frown — slide-striding down the steep slope much the same way his ashes tumbled down that same face a few weeks ago after we brought him back.

Todd really loved gemstones & crystals of all kinds, and even though he was not a fan of things ostentatious, he did always seem to have at least one piece of stone-jewelry on him during the final ten years or so of his life. He knew alot about the traditional healing properties of stones & minerals as well, and whenever he did wear them, he wore them purposefully. I guess that makes it somewhat ironic that peridot is a stone that is traditionally recognized as a mineral very useful in easing chronic depression — a condition under which Todd suffered for the last several years of his life. I knew this about peridot at the time of our visit, and even though I did not fully subscribe to the theory, I did have a faint hope that Todd would somehow be helped — if not completely cured — by soaking up the mineral emanations of this sacred space.

Of course, this did not prove to be the case. Indeed, I seem to remember that Todd was just as depressed as ever at the end of this particular day. And in retrospect, this makes complete sense, for even if peridot does emit frequencies that assist in soothing depression, Todd would still have had to have chosen to harness those energies in order to be healed by them.

And this is true for all of us as well. The fleshly machines in which we live our lives are designed to repair themselves … They are designed to return to a state of harmony whenever they slip into discord via injury or illness or mental dis-ease … Though they may not always succeed in their mission, our bodies and our minds are engineered to heal.  And yet they cannot effectively do so unless we choose to align our ideals and our actions with that ultimate purpose.

Similarly, and far more importantly, we must realize that our LOVE for others cannot “heal” them either. Indeed, despite what we have been taught in school or in church or in movie theaters or at home, our calling is not to fix others — It is not to repair them, or correct them, or heal them, or even help them. Our job — indeed, our greatest honor — is simply to LOVE them … and thereby give them the best environment possible in which to then possibly — just maybe — choose to heal themselves.

And this is true no matter how many times they might disregard our advice or reject our help or ignore our pleas or even ridicule our efforts … And it is true no matter how many times they might attempt to use us, or manipulate us, or con us or even harm us. No matter how many times someone comes to us asking for Love of any kind, the correct response is always some form of a gentle, “Yes” … some form of a warm, “Of course”.

Indeed, if there is one thing I learned from my experience living with Todd near the end of his life, it is that our job on this planet is not to “have faith” in others to “get better”, or even to hope that they use our Love to do so. No, my Friends, our job is simply to LOVE them — without goal; without expectation; without hope; and without condition … And it is our privilege to be able to do so over & over & over again.

Amen … Let it be so.

“The only way Love can last or be even partially potent
is when it’s truly unconditional. The truth is this:
Love is not determined by the one being loved,
but rather by the one choosing to Love.”
~ inspired by Stephen Kendrick

Filed under: A Tribute to Todd by Scaughdt