Many of us are faced with partners (be they friends or lovers) who are not upholding “their end of the deal” — who are distanced, non-communicative, and generally not giving us the Love we feel we deserve.

What is there to do in such situations?

Well, the only “solution” I have is the same one I relay to everyone else every time I’m asked something similar:  radical Love, radical Love, radical LOVE!

If our partner wants to spend the rest of his/her life in the basement watching TV, it’s their life and they have the right to make that choice.  Marriage (in the Divine Realm) is not a means for you to have more comfort in your life via a husband or wife that is your caretaker (a.k.a. your “companion”).  Rather, marriage is your opportunity to be a Care-Giver — especially when your partner is behaving in a less-than-loving fashion.

What a privilege!

So if he’s watching TV, bring him some tea and cookies, and tell him that you love him and that you are there for him if he needs you — and then get out there and Live your Life!  If she is out-and-about partying with friends, make her a snack for when she comes home, and leave her a note telling her that you love her and that you are there for her if she needs you — and then go to bed and get on with your Life!

None of us need our partner’s presence to bring Joy to them or to others (and thereby make our own lives Meaning-full) …

AND, as a bonus, if you do choose to make your Life about serving others, your partner will be much more likely to eventually “snap out of it” than if you regularly nag him or her about your relationship … and if they don’t choose to do so, at least you will have given them that priceless chance — and given yourself a Meaning-full life as well.

This is The Way of Love.

Filed under: simple Answers to tough Questions by Scaughdt