Addiction #27 – Normalcy (Part 2 … a Way to Freedom) 05/02/12
LICKING THE RAZOR’S EDGE
Addiction #27 – NORMALCY
(Part 2 … a Way to Freedom)
“We fool ourselves if we say we do not see color and culture and difference. We cheat ourselves when we say that all of us are the same. We should not want to be the same as others and we should not want others to be the same as us. Rather, it is for us to shine in all of our differences, flaunting them fabulously for all to see. It is never conformity that we need. What we need is to burst out into all our beautiful colors.” ~ inspired by C. Joybell C.
“Human beings are not machines, and however powerful the pressure to conform, they eventually are so moved by what they see as injustice that they declare their independence.” ~ Howard Zinn
“To be scripted at all is to be prepackaged, programmed, pinned to a page. Only the unwritten can truly live a life. So who I was — what I was, had to be rewritten.” ~ inspired by David James Duncan
“Avoid feeling stupid for not cheering for what everyone else pretends to like.” ~ inspired by Emma Watson
There are quite a few preachers and teachers and mystics and gurus who offer lots of different solutions to the problem of conformity. They recommend learning how to tactfully refuse others’ requests, learning how to doubt everything until it is “proven to be true”, learning how to be “true to yourself” (i.e. do what you want to do), learning how to calmly consider “all your options” before making a decision, and learning how to set “healthy boundaries” for self protection.
The list goes on & on, and it is nice that so many truly brilliant and well-intended individuals are offering us so many different ways we can be happier by enhancing our levels of “self-respect” & “self-acceptance”.
Of course, the problem lies in the fact that these methods simply do not work. It is true that some of them provide moments of “inner peace”, and others provide moments of “happiness”, and yet that calm proves temporary and those joys prove fleeting. Indeed, it is only a short matter of time before our addiction to conformity creeps back into our lives – often stronger than before.
We learn how to politely say “no”, and yet end up becoming cold and selfish.
We learn how to be skeptical of all news and rumors, and yet end up spending more of our time looking for “the Truth” than living Truth-fully.
We learn how to “wait for more proof” before making decisions, and yet end up making no decisions at all.
We learn how to “take care of ourselves” by “being true to ourselves”, and yet we end up with lives that feel lonely and devoid of purpose.
So, is there no hope for those of us who wish to be free?
Of course there is … and exuding “Self-Acceptance” – along with “Self-Respect”, are indeed valuable tools we can use to break out of the cage that is our addiction to normalcy.
And yet, it is not whether we learn to respect ourselves that really matters, nor is how we do so pertinent. No, if we truly wish to be free of the insidious addiction that is conformity, then we must have the wherewithal to respect our TRUE Self (as opposed to our ego) by having the courage to BE that True Self.
*TIP #01 (the only one you’ll ever need): SET YOUR TRUE SELF FREE … BY LETTING YOUR TRUE SELF SERVE
Within each one of us, there resides two selves. There is the ego-self (ruled by our more primitive brain centers) that essentially wants us to “live long and prosper” (i.e. survive & procreate). This self is ruled by fear and everything that fear inspires: every selfish desire and every self-centered angst (including anger, which is merely fear crystallized). It is this self that desires that we conform to others for our own “safety” and “well-being”. As such, this is also the self that wants us to “respect” and “accept” ourselves, — our ego-selves, by living lives that focus on taking care of those “small selves” first, and others thereafter (if ever). This is why most “new age” methods of “self-acceptance” and “self-respect” end up backfiring – because they feed and strengthen the same self that is causing our suffering in the first place!
That having been said, there is also another Self within us all – the True Self (or the “conscience”, or the “Soul”, or the “Heart Brain”). This is the Self that desires that we come to know real Bliss & Harmony in our lives, and it knows that the only way to do so is to truly Respect ourSelves by doing the only thing those Selves truly want to do — Care for others. It knows that the only way to truly Accept ourSelves is to allow those Selves to live the way they truly want to live — in selflessly serving their communities.
Cleansing our conformity does not mandate that we dress differently or talk differently or even act differently than others. Nor does embracing our personal uniqueness require that we “fight the establishment” or become an “independent thinker”. No, my Friends, to let your brilliantly unique True Self shine forth, all that is required is that you have the courage to serve in the many (often “small”) ways that only you can.
When you hear gossip being spewed, gently defend those being gossiped about. When you are having a truly “bad day”, boom a deep gratitude for life anyway. Make the welfare & joy of children a top priority, do anonymous Good Deeds for your friends (and your enemies), and be Kind to strangers and the downtrodden.
There are thousands of ways that only you can give and thousands more that only you can show you Care … and none of them – absolutely none of them — are “normal”.
“When someone tells me ‘no,’ it doesn’t mean I can’t do it; it simply means I can’t do it with them.” ~ Karen E. Q. Miller
“The amount of eccentricity in a society is proportional to the amount of mental vigor and moral courage it contains.” ~ John Stuart Mill
“Be strong enough to stand alone, and be true enough to stand apart. Most importantly, however, when the opportunity for caring arrives, be wise enough to stand for Togetherness.” ~ anonymous
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