To make matters even more challenging, our culture encourages us to “be good citizens” by making lots of babies (especially lots of grand-babies, right?), and our businesses use sex to sell us their products (over a third of all ads contain blatant sexual imagery, and there are over 5 pornographic websites for every non-pornographic one).

We are basically being bombarded both from within and from without with calls to have sex.

Knowing this, it should be no large surprise to learn that every day people around the world engage in approximately 100 million acts of sexual intercourse … That’s right: 100 MILLION times, every day. That’s over 200 couples having sex in any given second – for every second – of every day of the year.

And it can be no great surprise that Viagra, the well-known blue pill designed to help men with erectile dysfunction, made $411 million in profits within the FIRST THREE MONTHS of its release in 1998, before going on to make over $1.8 billion in 2003.

And it’s not just the act itself that is so prevalent. The latest studies show that the average adult male thinks about sex around twenty times a day, with the average woman entertaining similar thoughts only slightly less often (about a dozen times every 24 hours).

And it is not even only about the physical pleasure. Studies show that men (and some women) use sex to feel powerful and superficially enhance their feelings of self-worth. Other reports show that women (and quite a few men) use sex as leverage to get what they want (84% of women polled in one study admitted to using sex to get their men to help out around the house).

In essence, then, we not only biologically desire to have sex, our society is actively encouraging us to engage in it.

As a consequence, many people falsely believe that sex will make them happy, many people falsely believe that sex will make them powerful, and some people even falsely believe that sex will make them rich.

Most importantly of all, almost nowhere in any of these studies or discussions or reports do we read or hear the word “LOVE” …

… and THIS, my dear friends, is a very serious problem.

THE CONSEQUENCES OF HAVING SEX

“I don’t think I ever met a student who was sorry he or she postponed sexual activity, but I have certainly met very many who deeply regretted their sexual activities. Time and time again, I have seen the long-term emotional and spiritual desolation that results from casual sex and promiscuity … No one ever tells us that it sometimes takes years to recover from casual sexual involvements – if one ever fully recovers at all.” ~ Dr. Carson Daly, college counselor

I could go on & on about casual sex and the risks of unwanted pregnancies or the dangers of sexually transmitted diseases, and yet these topics are common knowledge and a bit boring. As such, we’ll skip them and get to some important, yet not too well-known facts about casual sex …

FACT #01 – CASUAL SEX IS PHYSICALLY ADDICTIVE

Endorphins released during sexual activity create a euphoria similar to that produced by opioid drug use. These same endorphins also act as extremely potent pain killers – which provide chemically-based, short-lived experiences of pleasure that become highly addictive.

And, like any physical addiction, the more one engages the practice that brings the “high”, the less pleasure users end up experiencing from it.

This has those people who are addicted to sex desiring more & more of it, in more & more different positions, in more & more different locations, and eventually even with more & more different partners — behaviors all designed to reproduce that “pinnacle of pleasure” one experiences the first few times one has casual sex with a partner. And yet, the physiology of the addiction means that the more sex one has, the farther and farther away from that goal one gets.

FACT #02 – CASUAL SEX DAMAGES ONE’S SENSE OF SELF-WORTH

Women want to feel Loved (and to Love), and yet casual sex robs them of this Gift. Is this why studies have consistently shown that casual sex leads to bouts of severe depression in women? (Women produce oxytocin during sex, a chemical that inspires women to feel close to a partner &/or nurture their young. As such, casual sex is especially damaging for women, because going against this powerful nurturing instinct creates immense feelings of dissatisfaction, self-degradation and depression)

Men want to Love (& feel Loved), and yet casual sex makes them feel like a warrior instead. Is this why there has been a strong correlation shown between men who engage in regular casual sex and men who commit date-rapes and other “crimes of passion”?

FACT #03 – CASUAL SEX DAMAGES THE ABILITY TO KNOW INTIMACY

If we were merely physical beings, then this fact wouldn’t be that important, and yet every one of us innately understands the Truth that we are far more than mere instinct-based animals.

*We are more than a selfish ego – we have a conscience;

*We are more than our power-craving instincts – we have a conscious Self-Awareness (i.e. we have the ability to choose how we respond to our desires);

*We are more than self-centered cravings to “survive & procreate” – we have the ability and the desire to truly Care for each other.

Casual sex rewards the primitive “animal” side of us while ignoring the deeper “spiritual” side. It champions the falsehood that we are “only human” — and thereby destined to “lust” & “sin”, and rejects the Truth that we are Human(e) — beings who can choose to set instincts aside in favor of actions that are Caring.

These are not statements meant to judge or criticize any of you. They are simply facts worth considering — and the consequences of these facts are well-documented.

*Those people engaging in regular acts of casual sex have much less success in sustaining meaningful, longer-term relationships (i.e. they rarely come to know real Love).

*We know that children who have been sexually molested remain deeply damaged emotionally & psychologically for many years (if not for the rest of their lives). Of course, what many people do not realize is that cheapening the powerful act of Lovemaking – i.e. turning it into “just sex” – injures its adult participants just as deeply.

Consider the following:

*Women (and men) want to be emotionally intimate during Love-making, and yet casual sex is only a hollow physical expression. Is this why 40% of all women report preferring masturbation to sex?

*Men (and women) want to please their partners, and yet casual sex is primarily about pleasing one’s self. There is no real giving pleasure to one’s partner because the partner is essentially doing that already. Within a matter of months (if not days) this becomes patently unfulfilling. Is this why almost half of all men (and over half of all women) have faked an orgasm at least once in their lives?

*Casual sex creates a void between self and one’s partner. This in turn leads to feelings of failure related to making meaningful connections with others (which is why we are actually Here). This then engenders lowered feelings of self-esteem, which then lead to more & more acts of causal sex. Is this why over 25% of the people in the world have had more than 10 sexual partners? Is this why over half of all those in committed relationships have at least one affair? And is this why almost 70% of those in such relationships say that they would have an affair if they knew they wouldn’t get caught?

There is a silent epidemic in the world today, and its disease is betrayal — betrayal of our partners when we cheat on them, betrayal of our partners when we treat them as conquests, and betrayal of ourSelves when we do the same.

Fortunately, there is a cure available. Both men & women innately understand that sexual intercourse is a “Sacred Act”,

… an act that is not only physically pleasurable, but also emotionally & psychologically charged;

… an act that provides one of the highest expressions of intimacy and Love available to we Human Beings.

To treat sex as less than Sacred is to violate this Truth …

… and to violate this Truth is to suffer & to cause suffering.

“Your problem is not your sexual behavior. Your problem is your fleeing from intimacy. Sex is simply your method of fleeing.” ~ anonymous