Ch 04 – Angels & Demons .. (04/10/11 – day 1, part 3)
“Here is my servant, whom I uphold …
He will not cower or complain,
or make his voice heard in the street.
A bruised reed he will not break,
and a burning wick he will not quench.
~ Isaiah 42:1-2
It was not long after leaving John C. Wilson Park that Highway 41 wound its way into the city of Chattanooga. And it was not long after entering the city that my next challenge rose to greet me – a challenge that did not come from my environment, but rather welled up from within the depths of my being. This was the challenge of disappointment.
You see, at this point in the walk, still a bit “high” from having recently transcended a taste of “danger” on Lookout Mountain, I began to wonder when I was going to start fulfilling the primary Purpose of the Pilgrimage: sharing my message of “radical Kindness”.
Of course, in order to share your message, you need an audience of interested others – you need folks who actually care about what you have to say. And here I was, surrounded by thousands upon thousands of my fellow humans – apparently not one of whom gave even a hint of a damn about my Journey. Even though I was a tall, gangly man walking down a highway wearing a smock emblazoned with “Walking the World for Peace & Freedom”, most people didn’t even glance my way. Not one person honked their support, and no one stopped to ask me about my Mission.
So, I began trying all sorts of tactics to get people to pay attention to me – I waved at them while smiling, I rearranged my smock so they would be more likely to read its message, and I entered numerous places of business (presumably to ask for a glass of water) in order to blurt out what I was doing and why. Shockingly, I only received heavy doses of indifference. No one seemed to care.
And this began to be more than a bit depressing. I was still firmly attached to the belief that others somehow “needed” to be reminded of The Way in order to be happy. And I was still clinging to the vision of me being the one to remind them. And, at least in the greater Chattanooga area, neither of these expectations were proving to be bearing much fruit.
Even more disconcerting were my regular encounters with actual scorn – folks who were for some reason angry at me for being an advocate of Peace. Mostly this took the form of glaring, though a few were “clever” enough to scare me by driving towards me or blaring their horns just as they were passing by. One person even gave me the finger! Seriously, giving a Peace Pilgrim the finger?!?!?
At some point, emotionally spent, I took a break in a fast food restaurant (I don’t even remember which one – frankly, the entire afternoon became one long, morose blur) and decided to draw another “random” quote – a quote that proved to be an inspirational turning point for the entire Pilgrimage:
“Without ridicule, who can be truly courageous?
Without condemnation, who can truly Love –
and thereby become Divine?”
~ anonymous
Of course! I was forgetting to Walk my own Talk! It is the frustrating moments of life that provide us all with the opportunity to let our actions speak with Power. It is moments such as these when we are blessed to be able to “Love anyway”. Yes, it was reasonable to be frustrated by those who had chosen not to care about my Walk, and it was equally reasonable to be a bit angered by those who had chosen to be aggressive towards me, and yet these are the very people I had chosen to serve! These are the people in all our lives who need our Kindness the most.
And it was at this moment, so early in my Pilgrimage, that I remembered why I was doing this at all – to show The Way of Love to those who had forgotten it; to extend that Love to those people who were choosing to be “least deserving”. This is when Love becomes powerful … This is when we actually make a difference.
So I got up, dusted off my ego, and set forth with a new mentality – one that was unconcerned with receiving adulation or even interest; one that didn’t care if others ridiculed or even attacked me. Instead of looking for those ready to Hear, I chose to let my actions speak to those who refused to listen. Instead of yearning to be Seen, I chose to be a Beacon of Light for those who refused to open their eyes.
And no sooner did I do so than a car honked lightly as it passed me by, and its driver, a man curiously wearing a hat very similar to my own, waved his hand out the window and gave me the “thumbs up” in support.
This was the only time this happened during the entire day – an angel amongst the demons … And it took me choosing to see those “demons” as merely sleeping angels to allow him to enter my life.
It took me remembering that I was here to serve – and not to be served – that allowed me to see him at all.
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