“Being in the present and making it your own,

so truly home, living God’s grace …

Seeing HIM reflected in everyone & everything,

on the way and yet going nowhere,

finally fully endlessly now-here …

Being the richest of all, having nothing,

being the safest, having nothing to hold on to …

Being at home, having no house to call your own,

being so full of energy & strength, while spending more than ever …

Being the happiest, having absolutely no ‘reason’ for it,

finally arriving in every instant, while seemingly going on & on & on …

Losing your life, you will have it.

There, that is Love,

There, that is Home,

There you are … That is You.”

~ Nanja Naisah

……………………

part 1 of many:  Setting Out

“The way of the cross is not easy,

& yet it is the rhythmic and the lovely way.”

~ Edgar Cayce

Frankly, I don’t remember much about the days leading up to my departure.  If we aren’t careful (actually, if we aren’t Care-full), life can become hazy – it has a tendency to flee from our acute awareness, leaving only snippets of recollection; blurry visions of what is gone and can never be reclaimed.  And yet, we can with a surprising degree of clarity – if we have the will & the courage to focus intently – remember how our past moments felt.  And these are our important recollections.  These are the memories that can be brought forth to serve as guides in our Here&Now.  And in this way, I do remember … I actually remember quite a bit.

I remember sitting in my Alexzanna Farms apartment the night before I was to set forth.  I remember knowing that I should be deathly afraid of what was about to be set in motion – that I was soon to leave on a real Journey with a very real risk of death and a very real probability of encountering intense pain – that once I took that first step, due to the nature of this Journey, there was no turning back.  And yet I remember that I was not at all fearful.

I remember lighting a large bonfire that came alive so joyously – quite the good omen.  For those with experience in such matters, it is understood that every fire has its own “personality” – one that resonates with the intentions of those who built it and the state of being of the person(s) setting it ablaze.  I remember that this fire was intensely “happy” – that it burned with a mirth that was ferocious – that it danced jubilantly – that it was alive with Purpose.

I remember sleeping only a few hours that night and then waking before dawn in a state of raw excitement.

This was it!  I was actually going to do this!  Oh … my … God!

I remember slowly drinking a cup of green tea (what proved to be my only sustenance for that entire day) while gazing out my apartment’s vaulted windows – peering through the tea’s dancing vapors while soaking in a simply majestic view of Lookout Mountain, around which I would soon be walking.  I remember gazing to the southeast and envisioning my Friends in Pompano Beach … I remember thinking how priceless this pure Love that I have – a Love that knows no distance & that does not comprehend time – a Love that can be sent anywhere instantly – a Love that I was then sent to everyone who lived along the roads I would soon be walking.   Friends, I walk for you …

I remember heading over to the main house to sit with my mother and bid both her and my stepfather farewell.  I remember my mother holding back her tears so stoically.  I remember tearing up myself … realizing more & more fully that this Walk was no small endeavor; that this choice was large and powerful and important.

I remember heading back to the apartment, gathering my small hemp bag of belongings, and then sitting alone for a time by the smoldering coals of last night’s bonfire.  I remember stoking those coals into a tiny renewed commune of flames, taking a deep breath, and uttering a whispered-yet-fully-intended prayer of gratitude – regardless of what would happen to me on this Journey, I was thankful.  Alone the opportunity to exercise the courage required to set forth was enough – alone the first step meant that the Journey would begin with total success, and everything that would follow would be wonderments lightly ladled onto this moment’s solid perfection.  Indeed, to even profess the pure desire to engage such an act of Love is enough. Indeed, come what may, it is truly already accomplished …

And then I took that first step … over the fire and out onto The Road.

Filed under: Peace Pilgrimage #01: Adventures of a Numinous Nomad (2011) by Scaughdt