Chapter 011: Responding to frustration & pain
The eleventh fundamental divergence among the members of the three Zones of Being pertains to the very different ways they relate to life experiences that are frustrating &/or painful. With the same in mind, feel free to humbly ponder (& thereafter courageously pro-act) the following examples thereof …
*Whereas Zone 1 advocates feel victimized by “bad times” that often arrive randomly &/or unfairly (a belief system that encourages them to attack their enemies &/or “get theirs” while & whenever they can), Zone 2 acolytes believe that their similar “misfortunes” can be consciously altered &/or simply “waited out” until they dissipate of their own accord (a belief system that justifies either their frequent self-centered efforts to manifest better fortunes for themselves &/or passively “go within” until circumstances are more ripe for personal benefit). Zone 3 participants, however, see “bad times” for what they truly are – namely, opportunities to Care for others far more powerfully – and act accordingly. They have come to comprehend the greater Truth that there is no such ting as an attainable “balance” between pleasurable events and uncomfortable ones. Indeed, these Enlightened ones have come to know that there is no such thing as a “bad” event at all; that every happenstance is either a pleasurable one to be shared with others or a painful one to be harnessed (via subsequent acts of willing kindness) for the benefit of the same.
*While Zone 1 proponents’ focus on diminishing, replacing &/or preventing the painful experiences of their lives ensures that they remain inevitably mired in ever-escalating intensities of the same, Zone 2 disciples tend to focus on intellectually rationalizing, vacantly accepting, &/or passively avoiding the same – a stagnating mindset that doesn’t make their negative encounters more prevalent or intense, and yet one that doesn’t make them any less frequent or painful either. Zone 3 enliveners, in stark contrast, choose to powerfully transcend their painful moments by utilizing the same – choosing to be potently grateful in times of lack, humbly amazed in times of tedium, &/or transformatively kind in times of anger or fear or annoyance.
*Just as Zone 1 affiliates fear pain and stringently resist it (and thereby chronically intensify the suffering experienced via the same), Zone 2 devotees employ “healthier” mechanisms to cope with their current pain &/or resist the arrival of future discomforts (a mindset that often disguises its self-centered intentions under the guise of “mindful meditation” or “self respect” or “personal growth”, and yet a mindset that is self-centered nonetheless – and thus a mindset that solidifies & preserves the same egotistical opinions that allow one’s personal pains to become intense sufferings in the first place). Zone 3 enthusiasts, however, maintain a dramatically different focus – one that refuses to attend to personal worries or self-focused fears whatsoever; one that understands that “coping” with pain actually prevents us from effectively (i.e. selflessly) utilizing the same; one that knows that, while they are not to be masochistically summoned, painful happenstances are to be humbly respected & courageously honored as the empowerers of kind deeds they innately are & will ever remain.
*Insomuch as Zone 1 patrons gaze or gawk at the unpleasant happenstances that befall others (“that’s none of my business” or “he/she deserved it”), minions of the Zone 2 mindset tend to passively pontificate about (“I wonder why that’s happening to him/her”) or attempt to peaceably placate the same1 (“pain is but an illusion to be abdicated”). In blazing contrast, champions of the Zone 3 lifestyle choose to immerse themselves fully into the trials and troubles of those around them – having accepted the Truth that they are intrinsically interconnected with every sentient being in their surroundings, alongside the equally important Truth that we can only become fully Human while acting accordingly; when being openly kind to any & all strangers, or openly caring towards our enemies, or radically (i.e. anonymously & self-sacrificially) generous to our friends.
*Though Zone 1 confederates deal with their feelings of frustration by burying the same under thick layers of addictive behavior, verbal bravado, &/or condemnatory thinking (struggling with their lives’ external circumstances), and Zone 2 crusaders tend to more mentally combat their lives’ annoyances via mindful meditation, positive affirmation, &/or manifestive visualization (battling external disappointment by disengaging from the same), agents of the Zone 3 Way defeat their troubles by refusing to attack the same – indeed, by choosing to openly embrace them instead. For these more deeply Enlightened ones, frustration is a not a sign of environmental discord that need to be dismantled or destroyed, but rather the presence of nearby unharmonies calling for infusions of Love. These Zone 3 champions are the ones who deeply feel & sincerely admit their frustrations & annoyances, and then powerfully transcend the same by going forth to extend radically unconditional Kindness directly to the sources thereof.
“To be your truest Self means truly loving life, and truly loving life is to adore it in all its emulations – the bad as well as the good; the painful as well as the peaceful. It is to sink into those moments when everything you hold dear has seemingly crumbled away like burnt paper in your hands, when your throat is filled with the silt of sorrow and your eyes are over-welled with the tears of rage. These are the times that all come to know at one point or another – the times when grief sets in so heavily that you can’t stand up for the weight of it, and you wonder how you can even brief under its massive cloak. And yet these are the times when you are allowed to become your truest Self – for these are the times when you can take that sadness-laden life gently between your palms and stare boldly into its tear-stricken face. These are the times when you can look gently at that face – look gently at that life – and say: Yes, I will bring you with me anyway. Yes, I will love you again – by loving all those shedding similar tears.” ~ inspired by Ellen Bass
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1Among the related common refrains heard from various Zone 2 “masters” (a.k.a. New Age gurus) are statements such as “what you are experiencing is not you” or “all pain subsides when you but return to the Now” or “we each create all of our own dis-ease and discord” – all of which being statements of belief providing nothing more than a temporary (& quite hollow) reprieve from the cycle of suffering that inevitably accompanies all those steeped in self-focus. For even if they are “only experiences” – only mental projections of our own minds – our experiences of pain & frustration & terror & annoyance are very real indeed. And how fortunate we all are for their true tangibility – for it is impossible for us to realize the highest state of our Being if not faced with the greatest of fears & discomforts. Indeed, our greatest Peace is known only during the enlivening of our greatest Love, and our greatest Love can only be given in those moments when we least wish to offer it and yet offer it anyway – in those times when we fully accept the poignancy of our pains & hatreds & sorrows, and yet choose to act lovingly anyway.
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