Laying down Martin’s Law … (07/01/17)
Stab a dog in the throat and you’re an “animal murderer.”
Stab a pig in the throat and it’s the “Circle of life” …
Cut off a rhino’s horns and you’re a “scumbag poacher.”
Cut off a cow’s horns and it’s just “De-horning” …
Hack off a dog’s tail and you’re a “barbaric savage.”
Hack off a lamb’s tail and it’s only “Tail docking” …
Shove your fist up a cat’s vagina and pump her full of semen and you’re a “twisted pervert.”
Shove your fist up a cow’s vagina and pump her full of semen and it’s only “artificial insemination” …
Lock a cat in a cage for 5 months and you’re an “animal abuser.”
Lock a pig in a crate for 5 months and it’s just “quality-assured pork” …
Kill a lion and pose with the corpse and you are (rightfully) criticized the world over …
Kill a pig and pose with the corpse and folks wonder what time the BBQ starts …
Breed dogs for the sole purpose of ultimately slitting their throats and you are an “abhorrent and sickening criminal.”
Breed turkeys for the sole purpose of slitting their throats and “they were bred for that purpose” …
Herd dogs into a gas chamber and you’re a “Nazi.”
Herd pigs into a gas chamber and it’s just part of the “food chain” …
Boil a dog alive and you are an “uncivilized barbarian.”
Boil a lobster alive and you are someone of “impeccable taste” …
Cut a fold of skin off a cat’s back and your are a twisted mutilator of defenseless animals.
Cut a fold of skin off a lamb’s haunches and it’s just “Mulesing” …
Snap a dove’s neck and you are a psychopath.
Snap a chicken’s neck and it’s only “backyard, family farming” …
Shoot a dog in the head with a bolt gun and you are a “monster.”
Shoot a cow in the head with a bolt gun and you are “humane” …
Free a dog from a Chinese dog-meat farm and you are A “Hero.”
Free a rat from being tortured in a laboratory and you are a “terrorist” …
Abstain from eating cockroach vomit and you are “well-adjusted.”
Abstain from eating bee vomit and you are an “extremist” …
Condemn someone for needlessly harming dogs and cats and you are a Kind-hearted, compassionate Soul.
Condemn someone for needlessly harming pigs and cows ane chickens and you are “militant, religious fanatic” who “forces beliefs on others” …
Campaign tirelessly against the dog-meat trade and you are a “noble, dedicated activist.”
Campaign tirelessly against the chicken meat trade and you are an “Idiot” who “won’t ever change anything” …
Pack dogs onto a crowded truck for a grueling 1,000 mile journey to be slaughtered in another land and you are a “heartless abuser.”
Pack sheep onto a crowded truck for a grueling 1,000 mile journey to be slaughtered in another land and you are “exporting goods for the benefit of the economy” …
Kill a cat for a religious festival and say a prayers over the corpse and you are “primitive zealot.”
Kill a turkey for a religious festival and say grace over the corpse and you area “devout Christian” …
Pull a parrot’s feathers off and you are a “sick individual.”
Pull a goose’s feathers off and “Wow, these pillows are so comfy” …
Strip a dog’s skin off and wear it and you are a “depraved psychotic.”
Strip a cow’s skin off and wear it and you are “stylish & fashionable” …
Dog-fighting farms are “Demonic — The work of Satan himself.”
Sheep farms are “Fully proper — God put them here for us” …
Kill a puppy and eat them and appropriately hear: “Cowardly bastard! How could you needlessly harm a creature who has no chance of defending itself?”
Kill a chicken and eat them and hear: “We’ve evolved to be more dominant than they have … Look at my canines … It’s a dog-eat-dog world.”
Hunt a species of large cat to near extinction: “We must do everything in our power to conserve them!”
Fish several species of large fish to near extinction: “Tuna salad, anyone?”
(with deep gratitude to George Martin)
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