Detachment from expectations (December 16th)
December 16 – Detachment from Expectations: List three (3) expectations you have for your own behavior/performance. Now write a letter to yourself releasing you from those “demands” & mail it today… List three (3) expectations you have related to the behaviors or performance of three “major players” in your Life. Now write notes to each of them releasing them from those expectations. Affirm your unconditional Acceptance of them regardless of whether or not they fulfill your particular fantasies, wishes or desires.
Bonus Activity: Deliver those notes to them in person.
While appearing relatively simple on its surface, this one deepened significantly as I went along. Expectations are real Love-killers. They have us striving to return to places of comfort, as opposed to appreciating where we already are …
They diffuse & thereby weaken the power of our Love by shifting our focus amongst a myriad of personal goals and hopes, as opposed to concentrating that Love on the current moment and the person nearest us …
They tarnish our Love with the fear that our expectations will not be met – both the hopes we have of being loved in return, as well as the fear that our own Love will not be received. Both serve as a fog that obscures the kindness we attempt to give to others …
So, after remembering the importance of today’s task in this way, I set out to engage it.
At first, it felt really nice to relieve myself of the three major pressures I place on myself. I am an “processor” by nature, and tend to instinctively analyze others’ behaviors – a behavior of my own that I have been steadily eliminating over the past several years. And yet it still surfaces from time to time, and I still tend to get down on myself when I do so.
I also expect myself to consistently care for those people who are not supporting me and my Peace Pilgrim life-choice. Sometimes, I find this difficult, as I – like all humans – am tempted to retreat into callousness or apathy when rejected.
Finally, I expect myself to be consistently (if not continually) “productive”. I have a long list of projects that I desire to finish before my death, and I realize that every moment is priceless with regards to doing so. As such, I can be highly self-critical when I “waste time” by engaging other forms of entertainment.
So today, it felt good to officially release these expectations; to make it openly clear that I am Loved even in those moments when I “slip” and analyze others – even in those moments when I “slip” and dismiss those who are rejecting me – even in those moments when I “slip” and engage activities that are relatively meaningless (i.e. that do not serve others, and thereby that do not serve my True Self).
It is important to note here that dismissing my positive expectations does not invert them. Just because I realize that I will probably make mistakes in the future, does not mean that I succumb to the myth that I am “only human” or that it is inevitable that I “slip”. Neither is correct. Rel;easing expectations is the unconditional acceptance of self when we do “slip”, not the belief that it is inevitable that we will do so. Even though I Love myself regardless of what I do or don’t do, I know that it is possible to exude perfect Love in any moment of my life. As such, it is possible for me to allow my True Self to shine forth in every moment of my life – as long as I have the awareness to approach that life one moment at a time.
As far as my expectations for others’ behaviors are concerned, I do not recognize any – having long since accepted others actions for what they are: mere actions worn as veils over Souls that are always radiant and warm and perfect – regardless of how “shabby” or “outrageous” those veils might appear.
That having been said, I do still succumb to hoping for others – hoping that they will come to know the Joy-full Way of selfless kindness. I do still have dreams for Humanity – dreaming that we will choose to live as one family; as stewards of the Earth as opposed to its feuding warlords.
These hopes & dreams I release now as well.
It is more than enough for me to focus on my own state of caring selflessness, and it is more than enough for me to attend to being steward of the Earth myself.
This final release is what then allowed my heart to swell with pure Love …
To care for all others, regardless of their beliefs or behaviors …
And to re-enter each new moment of my life with raw gratitude & sheer joy.
See You when I see you …
… and until then, Be Now!
Scaughdt
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