Self-Awareness (December 13th)
December 13 – Self-Awareness: Start the day by getting to know yourself anew. Pause this morning to really look at yourself in the mirror (naked is best, looking slowly and neutrally from head to toe). Avoid judging what you see, simply noting that “This is the body I have been given” … Put on some comfortable clothes and sit down for a few minutes. Be still and just listen to your breathing … Now take a few moments to look verrrrry closely at your hands … Head to the mirror again and examine your eyes similarly. Take your time here and notice all the different shades and hues and spots and levels of both your retinas. Notice how they are both similar and different … The neat thing about hands and eyes is that they are per se Beauty-full (even by societal standards). Notice how amazing yours are – and thereby notice how uniquely amazing you ARE! … Glance in mirrors and windows throughout the day today; not to see “how you look”, but rather to remember these moments True-Self re-cognition.
This task was surprisingly in-Sight-full – surprisingly meaning-full because it seemed at first to focus on only the superficial “external”, and surprisingly poignant because of my propensity to already gaze so often at my own reflection during the course of any “normal” day.
And then I slowed down and really looked at my body – without criticizing the parts of it that I have been taught are “weird” and without admiring the parts of it that I have been taught are “attractive”. I chose to simply accept that “This is the body I have been given”.
Yes, it might be a good idea to care for it with exercise and healthy sustenance, and yes, it continues to shift over time in response to aging and my state of being. And yet it is also perfect just as it is – It is amazing just as it is – It is beautiful just as it is. This gave me new meaning to the phrase “Love yourself”, because I shifted away from appreciating the “good parts” of me and towards loving all the parts of me.
And then I closed my eyes, listened to my breathing and took a look inside of me – into my identity, my personality, my ego. And I found that I could apply the same principles of non-judgment there as well. This didn’t mean that I “gave in” to my weaknesses or that I shrugged my failures off with a ho-hum, “I’m only human”. I still realized my innate perfection, I still comprehended the deeper Truth that I could live as a kind “Saint” in as many moments as I chose to do so (regardless of my life’s external circumstances). The difference now became the renewed awareness that it was OK when I screwed up. It wasn’t inevitable (like many self-help books would tempt us to believe), and yet it was still OK. My ego was programmed to keep me alive at all costs. My ego (God bless it) was steeped in fear. My ego refused to believe that true Kindness was even a practical possibility. And yet every moment of selfish callousness that might from me will always be followed by another moment – a moment when I can choose differently — a moment when I will be free to enliven the caring True Self that always resides within me (regardless of my behaviors).
And then I looked deeply at my hands and saw more than their astounding beauty. I saw that my hands were everyone’s hands; that my body was a part of every other living being; that my fears were their fears and that my longings were theirs as well. At this moment, I KNEW that we were literally all One.
I remembered these things throughout the day. And every time I saw myself reflected in a mirror or a window, I remembered that I was not only perfectly OK as I already was, but also that I was (and still am) more than merely “me” – which then re-inspired me to go forth and act accordingly.
See You when I see you/us …
… and until then, Be Now!
Scaughdt
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