Dealing with Joy & Addiction … (08/30/14)

Addictions can be more than rough … Just when we think we have them licked, or are “on our way to recovery” or are even “getting a bit better”, they always seem to rear their distorted heads and womp us back into the dark & smoldering world of sin (which simply means “to miss the mark”) & self-destruction. Maybe it’s alcohol that’s got you by the balls (or ovaries, as it were) — or maybe it’s cigarettes, or mass media, or sugar, or animal flesh, or dairy products, or cocaine, or caffeine, or negativity, or judging others. Frankly, it really doesn’t matter what your particular addiction is — as, with the exception of cigarettes (which kill not only the smoker but everyone around the smoker as well) and meat/milk (which not only kill their imbiber but also the animals that must be murdered to allow said eating), no single addiction is any worse than any other.

So the point is not how “bad” or “dangerous” or “nasty” our particular addictions are compared to anyone else’s. Rather, the point is that these self-destructive behaviors are destroying our lives — that they are not only damaging our health, but that they are also undermining the quality of every other relationship in our living.

Of course, as I have mentioned in my previous series of posts about addiction*, the real issue is not the particular damaging behavior that manifests itself in our everyday routines & habits, but rather the underlying dis-ease within us that gave rise to the same. In other words, the issue is not the addiction itself, but rather the fears & the desires that lie underneath it.

As such, if we are to effectively “attack” & “conquer” our addictions, it will not be enough to struggle against the particular behaviors that are causing us their pain. Rather, to be free of their icy grasp, we must get to the source of the problem — we must deal with our primal fear & our primitive focus on self. In essence, as our addictions are always patently selfish, they can only be effectively combated by the opposite of that selfishness — namely, acts of Kindness. And the more destructive our addictions are, the more radical the Good Deeds we must engage to soothe & eventually replace them.

Now, raw acts of Kindness will always flow directly against the strongest desires of the fearful, self-centered ego (as well as the political & religious systems those egos combine to create & support) — and as such, they will always be quite difficult to choose & engage. Despite this, there is some good news to share: if we stick with it, easing away from addictions does get easier over time; it does indeed become more & more fluid for us to make courageously selfless choices if we engage them repeatedly & persistently.

Indeed (in-deed), the same circuitry that gets activated by learning a negative, self-destructive habit (e.g. gorging on vegan ice cream every time you’re feeling lonely or insecure) gets DEactivated when you break that connection with choices focused on the well-being of others as opposed to pleasure or security for yourself (e.g. giving that same ice cream to a stranger). Like computers that can be reprogrammed — our brains are quite malleable, and they literally reconfigure themselves to align with any new set of actions we choose to repeatedly engage.

Remember, my Friends, it is selfless acts of LOVE that bring Power to all our deeds, and it is self-centered deeds of fear that take that Power away. Because all our addictions are fear-based, choosing to act them out automatically dampens our sense of Peace and neutralizes our Power to be a positive Force for Good in the lives of self & others. And, on the other hand — both fairly & fortunately, choosing to enliven selfless acts of Caring has an opposite, fully emPowering effect.

In conclusion the, cleansing our addictions is not about attaining perfection of Being. Rather, it is about simply seeing the “North Star” of our True Self within, and then repeatedly heading in that direction — doing so moment-by-moment; choice-by-choice; and deed-by-deed. And that is the great thing about dealing with our addictions (or other form of behavioral selfishness) — it is in our repeated, conscious dealing with them (NOT their ultimate eradication) that our LOVE becomes truly potent and our lives become truly Peace-full.

Amen … Let it be so for you & yours.

(inspired by Mary Boggiano, Jesus Christ & David Foster Wallace)

“If, by the virtue of charity or even the circumstance of desperation, you ever chance to spend a little time around a substance-recovery halfway facility, you will acquire many exotic new facts. You might come to realize that sleeping can be a form of emotional escape and can with sustained effort be abused … You might come to realize that gambling can be an abusable escape, as well — as can work, and shopping, and shoplifting, and sex, and abstention, and food, and exercise, and meditation, and prayer … And, most important of all, you might come to realize that there is indeed such a thing as raw, unalloyed, agenda-less kindness; that if you do something nice for somebody in secret — anonymously, without letting the person you did it for know it was you, or anybody else know what it was you did, or in any way or form trying to get credit for it — then that act it becomes its own form of blissful high.” ~ inspired by David Foster Wallace

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