Dedication to re-Awakening (December 1st)
December 01– Dedication to re-Awakening: Dedicate one hour this evening to being completely alone. In this time, sit in stillness (no TV, no radio, no music, no cell phone, no conversation, no books). In this time, decide whether or not you earnestly want to engage in the Awakening of your True Self … Your mind may wander, and yet continue to bring it gently back to the task at hand for the full hour; namely, focusing on the Vision of the person you wish to become and the changes in behavior you are willing to engage in order to do so … At the end of the hour, intone aloud: “I Am completely Willing to enLiven my True Self.”
Whew! That was one loooooonnnnng hour!
I am “medtitatively challenged” anyway, but that was ridiculously difficult. I mean, waking up before sunrise to feed the chickens, working a full day (half inside, half outside), eating a huge bowl of vegetable soup for dinner, and then staring at a candle for an hour in a dark room is a sure-fire recipe for a big-time concentration catastrophe 😉 …
And maybe that is a good thing. After all, this “366 Days of Selfless Service” is not about meditating at all (the “power of now” might be a good path for some, yet it does take quite a bit of time to master). It is about moving into “Enlightenment’s Express Lane” — simply going forth and doing good for others in a variety of courageous ways (this “Power of How” always reaps immediate results). Tonight’s task was simply a setting of that stage …
So, before I begin to relay a bit about my own experiences with challenge #1, it is important to begin by reminding you all that this Blog is not a representation of “how it should be done”. I am only going to be offering some insights into the ways I personally choose to fulfill each day’s task — all the while fully aware that every one of you will be doing something equally powerful using methods which I cannot even imagine, much less fathom. The Selfless Way has more than a few common threads (which this Blog is intended to illuminate for you), and yet the challenges we will each experience along its route are completely our own — and must be engaged in ways that are unique to each of us.
OK, with that out of the way, let’s chat a bit about tonight.
I set my own “intention stage” by lighting a candle in my apartment’s darkened living room (as I mentioned earlier), making a cup of super-steeped green tea, and simply sitting … And, at least for a few moments, I did feel rather Peace-full. I felt in my core that these 366 days are going to be powerful no matter what (They are!), and I was calmly excited about the prospect of engaging the challenges their tasks would present.
And then my thoughts became tainted with hope and expectation. I began pondering the project as a whole (366 Days?!?! in a row?!?!) and my ego started to chirp:
“What if you don’t finish what you start? People will be disappointed in you.”
“What if your giving is misinterpreted and does more harm than good?”
“What if no one pays any attention to your efforts at all?”
In essence – “What if you fail?”
Sound familiar?
Fortunately, I have developed a working relationship with my ego over the past five+ years, and was able to gently set its quite reasonable concerns aside (a single moment of such “egolessness” is enough to get started). After all, this is not about “getting better” or “being liked” or even “succeeding”. It is about choosing The Selfless Way – one day at a time, one small task per day.
I remembered that it doesn’t matter if I only last through tomorrow morning … I’m just going to enliven today’s actions.
I remembered that it doesn’t matter if my efforts are incorrectly interpreted by others … That is their right.
I remembered that it doesn’t matter if no one follows along … It is enough that I alone perform the task at hand.
In essence, I remembered that it doesn’t matter if I “fail” … Because even to attempt to walk The selfless Path is to succeed.
And then my focus shifted to the Here&Now; to the candle and the infinite reflections it was casting inside its glass casement – a flame that I began to see as my True Self, a Self I wanted more than anything to shine forth for others … to warm them when they are cold, to light their way when they feel lost, to remind them of their own caring True Selves within when they seem to have forgotten the same.
And then I realized that I truly want to engage these tasks …
I truly want to intensify my Soul’s radiance – one kind moment at a time …
… and that this gentle yet sincere intention is more than enough.
And with that fresh in mind and full in-Heart, I can truly state with complete sincerity:
“I Am indeed completely willing to in-Live-in my True Self.”
See You when I see you … and until then, Be Now!
Scaughdt
P.S. my Internet connectivity could prove to be a bit sketchy at times over the course of the year, so if I am not able to post on any given day, rest assured that I will have made my notes and will upload each day’s entry whenever I can.
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