For those who might miss the posts that will follow, where I will go into more detail regarding a few dozen of the more common (yet often unrecognized) addictions many of us face each day, it is important to realize that the way out of every addiction – the Way to Peace – is essentially the same.

And, fortunately for us all, even though the method I am about to share with you is indeed difficult to master, you don’t have to do so. That’s right, despite what you may have read or heard from “professionals” or “wise ones”, mastery over an addiction is NOT required in order to be free of its grasp …

Rather, all that is required to be completely Free is one moment of courageous action; one instant when you decide that you will, just for that one instant, not be ruled by your more primitive instincts; that just for that one inkling of your life, you choose to let your True Self shine forth.

Freedom is not about “being perfect” or even “becoming good” at being Good … It’s only about this one moment, and what you choose to do (or not do) with it.

So, regardless of how your particular addictions look & feel, true Freedom therefrom awaits you in three simple steps – steps that look something like this:

Step 01) RECOGNIZE THAT YOU ARE ADDICTED … Again, this doesn’t mean that you are “bad person” or in any way “inferior” or “less than”. I have yet to meet a single human being who has not exhibited addictive behaviors in one way or another. Indeed, habitual acts of rationalized selfishness are an innate part of the challenging journey that is this life as a conscious Human Being. For lack of a better phrase, self-destructive choices are simply part of the program … Thus, quite logically, to be Free of those addictions – to be able to choose differently, it is necessary to take a step back and recognize them.

Of course, if you are not willing to acknowledge your addictive habits – those actions that you habitually (and often almost unconsciously) engage for your benefit and your benefit alone, then there is no point in reading further.

And yet, if you ARE willing to do so, there are only two more steps to Freedom …

Step 02) BE KIND TO YOUR EGO … This is an extremely important step in this extremely short journey. The ego simply loves conflict, and it perversely thrives on being criticized in any way. As such, every time we try to fight or destroy or eliminate or forcefully remove an addiction, it almost always resurfaces stronger than before. Seeing the ego as the enemy simply doesn’t work – ever …

Subconscious feelings of low self-esteem are the foundation of every addictive behavior, so it makes perfect sense that criticizing yourself for “slipping up” or being ashamed of “sinning” or even negatively labeling yourself as “an addict” only serves to fuel the very dysfunction that inspired your addictions in the first place.

As an effective alternative, try the following:

a) THANK YOUR EGO for keeping you alive during your infancy & childhood, as well as for trying to protect you now. Even though it is attempting to “keep you safe” or “keep you happy” using behaviors that are actually harming you, it really doesn’t know any better. It is doing the best it can, even though it is not equipped to do a very good job at it. And it takes all critical thoughts VERY personally … On the other hand, if you start by thanking it for its efforts, it will cease being defensive, and it will be easier to choose a different path in the following moment.

Then, after thanking the ego sincerely, be sure to …

b) REASSURE YOUR EGO that your True Self will only be “taking the wheel” for one moment (this moment) and one moment only. The ego is deathly afraid that you will one day choose to follow the supra-conscious yearnings of your conscience more fully, and that it will “die” when you do so. That’s one of the reasons why it puts up such an amazing fight whenever you start to selflessly Care for others. It is simply terrified of anything that is courageously open and Kind – of anything that appears “dangerous” or “self-sacrificial” or “vulnerable”. And yet, if you make sure your ego knows that you are only going to be courageously Kind for one moment, it tends to relax and let you do so. And afterwards – once the ego experiences how GOOD it feels to act selflessly, and once it realizes that it isn’t at all “dangerous” or “irresponsible” to do so, it will begin to progressively relax – and it will become progressively easier to make similar choices in the future.

Now that you have recognized the need for another way, and have assuaged the fears of your friend the ego, it is time to take the final step into the great unknown – into the realm of real Freedom. And, not surprisingly for some, this final step is …

Step 03) PRO-ACT KINDNESS for Self or others … This is the final step on your journey back to True Self – and it is a crucial one, for it is not enough to engage your addictions with mere thoughts or hopes of feelings. Action must be taken – and the more courageous the act, the more purely your addiction will be replaced, and the more smoothly you will be able to do so again at the next opportunity.

Note here that it is not necessary to do anything “radical” to supplant your addiction (though a courageous act of Kindness is an extremely effective way of doing so). Rather, it is only necessary in the beginning to replace the self-centered act that you wanted to do with a deed that is either selfless or True Self-affirming. When doing so, it helps immensely if the replacement deed somehow resembles the addictive one (e.g. drinking green tea instead of coffee – or better yet, giving that cup of green tea to another person instead of drinking coffee yourself).

Additional examples of other alternatives for other addictions will be discussed in the posts that follow this one.

So, that’s it – that’s all you have to do.

Once you have consciously replaced a selfish urge with a Healthy (i.e. a Kind) alternative, congratulations — you have already succeeded! In that moment, while you are doing potent Good as opposed to reaping hollow pleasure, you are no longer an addict. Congratulations!!!

Of course, you will be truly Free only for as long as you choose to engage that replacement deed. Thereafter, the ego-program will “take the wheel” again and try to steer you back to your selfish, pleasure-hoarding habits. That’s the way our brains are hard-wired — and THIS IS OK! Indeed, without this constant set of challenges, our lives would be devoid of Meaning. In-deed, because it is so difficult to Care for another instead of caring for yourself, it is always very powerful whenever we choose to do so.

And TO REMAIN FREE – all you must do is REPEAT the 3 STEPS (again & again & again). The opportunity to do so will be there for you in every moment of your life – for the rest of your life.

And please avoid worrying about “not being perfect”. If you slip up and fall back into selfish addictions, forgive yourself quickly, and then choose in the next new moment to simply engage the 3 Steps anew and return to selfless Kindness once again.

As this simple and smooth 3-Step process is engaged more & more often, it becomes easier and easier to set aside your addictions in favor of choices that affirm others – and thereby truly affirm your own True Self.

Maybe you will do so once a week and maybe you will manage to do so several times a day. Either way, as long as you continue returning to the present moment and consciously making choices that resonate with the Kind desires of your conscience, YOU CAN & WILL BE FREE!

In essence, you don’t need a coach or a therapist or a program of a “self-help” book to Free yourself from your ego’s clutches …

All you need is YOU.