“Life is what you celebrate.
All of it … even its end.”
~ Joanne Harris

Frankly, I don’t really know how to do this “right” — I don’t really know how to tell the Tale of Todd in a way that will do him justice, or that will allow you all to have even the smallest glimpse of the Great Soul he was — and the Great Soul he remains.

So I’m just going to wing it … I’m just going to start at “the beginning” and share some stories of our times together.  Todd was a huge fan of simply “going with the flow”, so I think he’d like that.

“You would know the secret of death,
but how shall you find it,
unless you seek in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes
are blind unto the day
cannot reveal the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death,
then open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are joined,
even as the river and the sea are one.”
~ Kahlil Gibran

My memories of our childhood together are a bit foggy, of course, and yet I do remember, nonetheless …

I remember that Todd always had two pacifiers in his mouth when he was a toddler, and that he never wore just one hat – sometimes tottering about wearing as many as five or six different ones at once.

The Lesson:  Avoid confining your dreams.  Chart a many-plotted course, and then continuously make your life a bold and grand adventure.

I remember that we used to sit around the dinner table and say “Thank You’s” before we ate, with each family member sharing one thing for which he or she was thankful that day.  Todd always seemed to want to go first, and he often did so by booming out a loud, “I AM THANKFUL FOR ME!” … Well I am thankful for you to, Todd — very thankful indeed.

The Lesson:  Keep reminding yourself how special you are … and then keep acting accordingly.

I remember hanging out in our room as kids, building with Lego’s or reading books for hours upon hours together … I remember sitting with him on our screen-porch swing in Homewood, drinking milkshakes in silence while watching thunderstorms rage all around us.

The Lesson:  Revel fully in your days … Do so often in silence.

I remember playing Dungeons & Dragons with him. We didn’t actually play the game, of course, as much as we developed unusually powerful characters and constructed unusually elaborate dungeons to challenge them.  Todd, more often than not, developed Druids (he always did adore our amazing planet), while I tended to produce Paladins. And regardless of the characters we created, we marveled over each other’s creativity and then fantasized about going forth and Doing Good — and always doing so together.

The Lesson:  Treasure your Loved Ones by spending lots of “quality time” together (watching TV together doesn’t count) … and always do so as members of “the same team”.

And finally, I remember bugging the bajeezus out of Todd …

I picked on him and teased him (as siblings are wont to do).  I made fun of him, I ignored him, and I argued with him on occasion as well … I often made him so mad.  I would even race home from school in order to eat all the “good stuff” in the fridge before he could get to it. That I would have starved had I not done so is no excuse (Even up until 2008, Todd could polish off an amazing amount of food in a very short span of time).

And even though a result of this “brotherly love” was Todd often inflicting me with bodily injury (almost every scar on my body came from him — every one of them reasonable & justified, I might add), I still wish to apologize to him today.

Even though it all happened so long ago and we were “only kids”, I still wish he were here to hear how sorry I am that I did those things.  So I’ll say it now …

I’m sorry, Todd …

I really am.

The Lesson: it is never too late to apologize — ever.

“It is not desirable that we should live as if in the constant atmosphere and presence of death; that would unfit us for life.  But it is well for us, now and then, to talk with death as friend talketh with friend, and to bathe in its strange seas … These forethinkings are meant, not to make us discontent, but rather to bring us back into life with more strength, and a nobler purpose in living.” ~ Henry Ward Beecher

Filed under: A Tribute to Todd by Scaughdt