Day 085h: A Litany of Letting Go … (July 08, 2019)
It was a strange series of happenstances on this particular pilgrimage that had me meeting so much difference (& even disappointment at) the small handful of “special places” which I had eagerly longed to see again* – and the village of Tosantos proved to be no exception. The donativo refuge here had served as one of the true highlights of my 2008 Camino journey, and that encounter indeed remains one of the highlights of my entire life to this day. Of course, no meetings of any real weight or importance can ever be truly duplicated (such is the effervescent nature of life whenever matter & humans & the passage of time combine), and yet we often like to think that at least some vestige of that well-met sacredness will persist long enough for us to feel it again at second meeting. And so were my own expectations related to the Hospital de Peregrinos in Tosantos – a place where I had first met Jose Luis, the donativo’s now-famous proprietor; a truly holy man who had invited me right away those 11 yeasr ago to remain behind and live there for a few days to help him tend to passing pilgrims – a task I humbly accepted and in which I deeply reveled for over 3 days. Of course, “Evince hopes, God laughs” (as the saying similarly goes), and I arrived on this 2019 day to find the hostel closed up tight and was then told by a neighbor that Jose Luis was not on hand at all anyway. And so it was that I paused in great Gratitude anyway – and then let my hopes fade smoothly, as I flowed on into the day …
“For those of you who praise God and say “God is good” or ‘I am so blessed” when you get what you want, try praising the Divine instead by saying “God is good” and “I am so blessed” when you are disappointed or in any way suffering. To do the first is effortless, and therefore weak. The masses all do the same at a whim or whisper, and that is why such thanks is meaningless. And yet to evince the latter requires something far greater: strength, humility, integrity, and selflessness. And these are the pillars of any Great Action, and thus are also the pillars of any Soul-shaking gratitude.” ~ inspired by Donna Lynn Hope
“Stunned to my core and not immediately able to proceed, I simply stood there, inexpressibly grateful that my life, including all its disappointments & terrors, is so constantly filled with moments of incredible Beauty & profound Grace.” ~ via Dean Koontz
*And those “special places” were – the ancient church at Eunate, the refuge in Tosantos mentioned above, the lovely donativo of San Bol, the Peaceable Kingdom in Moratinos, the mountaintop church at Ocebreiro, and even the pilgrimage’s end station of Finisterre itself … All of these places were by far the “most magical” for me during my 2008 Camino pilgrimage, and almost every single one of them in 2019 (all except San Bol) in truth paled in comparison to its original encounter.
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